Tonight I am typing whilst lying on my bed. It’s pretty tricky as I can’t see the keyboard. Ok, I can do this with a cunning array of pillow scaffolding. Just about. Right. Surprise surprise, I’m tired. Story of my life. Got home quite late yesterday and didn’t sleep for longer that about 5hours. I don’t like sleeping here, especially after having been home to my own lovely (if broken) bed and been reminded of what delicious lovely sleep is like. But anyway. Managed to get up and be at Handover for 8am.... unlike the rest of The Team. That threw me, being the first to arrive. It would have made me look really committed and enthusiastic, had anyone been there to see me.
Ward Round as per, into theatres by just after 9am. It was another long and interesting case. Poor patient had had spinal stenosis for a protracted amount of time and so had been on opioid painkillers for quite a while. And as such had not noticed what would have been a painful abscess growing under a tooth. The infection moved to the bone and she had many months of conservative treatment for osteonecrosis of the mandible. Last resort was today’s surgery. She had a hemimandiblectomy (half jaw removed) and graft with Free Fibula Flap (or ‘Free Flap of Fibula- FoFF). This involved taking the entire fibula pretty much, along with some muscle and skin. This was used to rebuild her jaw and then patching the hole in her leg with skin from her thigh. It was all a bit immense. I have rather got into the swing of documenting these epic goings on in drawings, which seems to be going down well with everyone. I’m building up a nice little collection of ‘how to do surgery’ drawings. And on the whole it excuses me from getting too involved (scrubbing in).But, just as I was about to head for my lunch at 3pm (I decided I could not live without food a moment longer) I was politely asked if I could scrub and help the SHO. I fell for it and lunch was postponed to 4.30pm.
I have been learning many things. Lunch is something I am going to have to learn to live without. Being a student is brilliant (even if you are occasionally referred to as ‘purely decorative’- clinic, last week); you don’t actually have to be anywhere. And people like to tell you stuff as it gives them a chance to share information that they find interesting, and often so do you. And, oh the amount of ignorance you can plead is amazing. All of this plus actual learning, like not washing out cancer ops cos it spreads the nasty cells everywhere. And that the Solution to Pollution is Dilution. And that a side-effect of long term opiod painkillers is that you may not notice a dental abscess and end up having to replace half your face with your leg.
I keep having doubts about my career. I remember someone very clever once pointing out the big question- why the hell are we, people who really really love sleep, going into a career where sleep is deprived from you at every turn? (I think we shall call her Canny Friend). I do sometimes wonder what it is I’m striving for, and how I will know when I’ve got there.
I’m not feeling all that philosophical this evening. I reckon it’s the tiredness. Too tired for philosophising. Which apparently is a word according to spell checker but ‘opioid’ isn’t. But I have done a little pencil drawing tonight, summing up the soft and listless spirit of the evening. It’s on the back of a flyer I found in the book I’m reading- advertising a mates’ band, playing the Dublin Castle on Friday 17th October, I presume last year.
Argh!! Someone has moved into the room opposite me! I had been room-mate-less for over a week and have grown accustomed to my own bathroom!! Frightened the shit outta me. Especially as I had my curtains open to the communal balcony and I’m swanning about in my bath robe with David Bowie on a little too loud for wall this thin. Jeez these walls are thin. I just heard her taking a piss. With music on, whilst typing.
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