Today was a super-long day. Time is all merging into one long sausage, well, string of sausages, the little joins between the sausages being the asleep bits. Everything else is fat and full of pork. Delicious pork. Today started, as days seem to, at 8am. I left the hospital at 9.45pm. The whole day was one long op of incredible. We basically took half of someone’s face off and filled the gap with a large portion of their back. It was obviously a bit more complex than that but I don’t want to tempt the fates with breaches of confidentiality etc. I did not get to scrub today but I was promoted to ‘clinical photographer’ and got to document the whole op in pictures. Am-hazing.
One person did get to scrub, and suture. A first year student. A first year student who was so new to the whole thing she seemed unaware of hierarchy, or just courtesy and she kept shoving her big head in front of my view. Views are hard to secure when the average number of people scrubbed is six. Once a view is secured, it is bad manners for someone to just slip in front. Especially when they are tall. And I’m supposed to be getting pictures. And she really brought out all the most cynical, bitter and old aspects of my personality. Bloody children. Kids these days. No manners. No, your music is not the best ever and I haven’t heard of it. No I never did see Spy Kids, I’m 26. No, I do not think its really epic how your Medic Dad gave you so much Tequila it was epic. No your university rivalry is not important and you can stop justifying to me how good your uni is, that you’ve been at for six months. And for your info I went to a different London uni. And mine was definitely better than yours. But I’m not going to rub that in, but I am going to change the subject. And by subject I mean the person to whom I am speaking.
Today I am a hard-working individual. Tonight’s portrait says so. It also says I am old and bitter. I know all about the important things in life but to me these things include ‘cunning lunch timings’ and wart ointment. Ivan Denisovich is tonight’s idol. There was no RAG week, just hard work, snow, felt boots and if you’re lucky a bit of tobacco. I have hard work, beans on toast with little sausages in, and if I’m lucky a bit of tobacco. I am not a political prisoner, but a guest at the leisure of Myself. Myself happens to be a complete cynic and a slave-driver. But we have become rather inseparable.
Tonight was sponsored by cynicism and sausages.
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